my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
