do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
