I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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