We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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