i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
