dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
