but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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