I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
