You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I think my moral compass just broke
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
