just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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