we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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