So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize