Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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