So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
