Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
