I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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