Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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