Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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