I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
God, I missed his penis.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
