I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
