it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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