So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
