im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
