white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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