I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
