The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
