OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize