her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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