I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
