I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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