I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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