yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
