Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
