it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
