just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
