i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
