I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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