So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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