Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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