So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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