i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
