Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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