just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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