I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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