Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
