um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
