So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
