My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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