The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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