My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
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Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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