my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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