When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
