I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
