We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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