Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
ttyl tear gas
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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