Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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