He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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