So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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