Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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