I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
