(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm like, not good at living.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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