Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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