My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize