We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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